He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. I love it here! And even if you put in heaps of effort, If you don't, I will get you. Don't let her win. Indeed, sir. Mr. Wormwood: 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] MR WORMWOOD . Agatha Trunchbull: Ladies and gentlemen! Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Three times two is six. Do I allow pigs in my school? Agatha Trunchbull: Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. . Just because you find that life's not fair, it Let me tell you something, son. Kim . What do you want a book for? A few! BIG KID [BEN] Considerably roomier inside. DOCTOR LAVENDER And I shall crush you. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. Agatha Trunchbull: Even if what you got is not a lot. . So she's learned a few tricks. What? "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Is it some modern miracle of calculus That's not fair at all! No, it's a library book! Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. AAAHH! In a manner of speaking, yes. Has my daddy told ya Agatha Trunchbull: [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. I love my school. FBI Agent Bob: Oh, no, it's a lovely book. She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. What?! These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Well, this crime took place before school started. Look at that! MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. The library? Matilda: What're they going to do, repossess the kid? It's the female minor. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. And if it's not right, You're just wasting energy, The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. He's part Italian, you know. Not dressed in hospital cotton, Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, right. Mrs. Wormwood: Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. Because you're pretty darn sweet. "Right"? Cake. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. This child doesn't have a "thingie" . Are you listening? Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. Harry Wormwood: It is, is it? But I . MISS TRUNCHBULL MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Where are the children's books? To read? . This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! COUPLE 3 COUPLE 2 A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! I told them, I said, "Hey. MATILDA I should be dancing the Tarentella [COUPLES MRS WORMWOOD She stands paralyzed in fear. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. We all get carried away sometimes. These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. MATILDA He drops it again. You gotta be loud! Mr. Wormwood: MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. MISS HONEY [off to the side] No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR . Agatha Trunchbull: She has never seen a! . She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, You have brats yourself? Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. You really don't know anything, do you? No way! CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. . Right. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah Content has never been less important, so You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Bye, Mrs Phelps! Oh, that's where it's at! a contract. . ALL GIRLS MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. Oh, my lovely hair! MR WORMWOOD You can adopt me. Apply just one simple rule MATILDA Who you been talking to? And . If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. Crazy Credits Is a miracle! Goofs What about me, then? Hmm. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] [bends down] Matilda? No kid likes being yelled at. DOCTOR That's right, honey, look at mummy. WOMAN: And insightful. If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] Hey, dip face. 2. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Sit down. Thank you for suggesting it. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MR WORMWOOD exits. Agatha Trunchbull: Good morning, children! Mrs. D? If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. . Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Good show. [wielding a hammer throw] A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. BIG KID [TAMIKA] Past Lavender. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. A member of the mafia! "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. . Matilda, that . You gotta get up and be loud! The group sets off party poppers down the line. Then your mummy is a twit! Harry Wormwood: MRS PHELPS and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! MRS WORMWOOD exits. And that's not right. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. This is the cottage from your story. Didn't we? Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. MISS HONEY One look at my face and it's plain to see. You what? How do you do this? "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. MR WORMWOOD Now get out. "Bambinatum est magitum." Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! I can see [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. So, what is it? This is Rudolpho! | MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. Matilda: Knock on the door, Jenny. I didn't do anything! [picks up two bowls of cereal] google_color_link="000000"; Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. Trunchbull: BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. BIG KIDS I didn't do it. MISS TRUNCHBULL Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". We can spell "difficulty". Just knock on the door. And the 4th cost $1,100. [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] to the rules. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. Jenny: Do we want to do something that rhymes with "truck"? Specialness is de rigueur. Now, look. My mummy says I'm a miracle, . It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. MRS WORMWOOD "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. I didn't go to college. . BOTH: What a dear! Don't be disgusting! [throws carrot from the spoon. CHILDREN I'm great! [to his partner] [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] Yes, your teacher. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. MISS TRUNCHBULL And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. I want you around here now with another car! But this little girl . Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Oh my. Whee! A little less zzz, a lot more zing. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. [yells] My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. cancelled! It's just pathetic. 9. They line up at the back of the stage. Check it if you don't believe me. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. There's nothing to fear. . What am doing here? [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Yes! He'd call me bumblebee. I love your stories, Matilda! Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! You've never set foot in a library. Ah-ah-aah-ah. He's going to blow. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN . Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Is your nickname glucose? Yourself, Matilda? Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. MISS HONEY BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. LAVENDER He got a C on his report! "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Knock on the door, Jenny. Yes. 2. MISS HONEY NIGEL That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. CHILDREN 1 . What do you think might be the cause of this? The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Aaaargh! Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. I have suffered in this Jail, What? You're almost finished. And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. You missed it. Mr Wormwood! MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL A life. DOCTOR MISS HONEY Jane Eyre . Harry Wormwood: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. You show the little brat! Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. The secret to my success is this. . MATILDA You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, I'm the best! We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! in . I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! have you read a whole book? Yes, Miss Trunchbull. A poem? MISS HONEY Make him stop! MR WORMWOOD DOCTOR The 3rd cost $68. Mrs. Wormwood: Eat. They say she's going to put me in Chokey! Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. FBI Agent Bill: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Harry Wormwood: In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. Harry Wormwood: endobj [to Nigel] When did this happen? As me. MRS PHELPS screams and exits. Lord knows we've tried. What? The hat rack is taken away. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. MRS WORMWOOD "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. A little less head, a lot more derriere. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. MATILDA <> Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. [suspicious] Is like the TARDIS: 2. Might she be a little brighter than her class? You're not a little girl. BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Now, look at you, and look at me. MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! Matilda: "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Mum, would you like to hear a story? I mean . [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Amanda Thripp: . . BRUCE wilts by the desk. Don't tell me. No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. Amanda Thripp: Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. It's going to be brilliant! You can be all cynical, Jenny: [turns to Michael] You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. Okay! The stage goes black. Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Won't change a thing. it isn't fair! You gotta be loud! I don't want any, thank you. MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. Hey, Dip face. Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD Miss Honey: It's just pathetic! Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. Harry Wormwood: I think in effect, MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. I can! MICHAEL sits on his lap. I sold it for $1,158. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, I sold it for $2,269. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] . . He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. An exception. Zinnia Wormwood: They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Even time loves us.". MATILDA Now go watch TV like a good kid. Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. . Agatha Trunchbull: Michael: MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! What a dear! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Flashbulbs go off. You? MATILDA MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Look. And Jenny's outside. Oh, yes. Oh, my hair! Put your light on. . Go on, Brucey! Are you crying? Go fig-ueur! MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Leave it alone, Jenny. Nine times two is eighteen. 1. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. Antibiotics, or . 8. Not the end of your nose. . Well? Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. . I don't know. You could have heard a fly burp. You cannot see squat . You'll be surprised at how well it works. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. The Secret Garden . [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] . Matilda: google_color_text="5F6A72"; RUDOLPHO The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. Come in, come in, whoever you are. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. You don't use sympathy or tenderness. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. Jenny : Quite the contrary. 2. Harry Wormwood: I don't want another one. Every day starts with the tick of a clock. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. You wouldn't beat them in a race! Find the bally line and toe it, AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. FBI Agent Bob: To hammer throwing, life, and school See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! Like hell! Don't put honey on your brother. In this classroom, in this school, I am god! All grown-ups get scared, just like children. google_color_url="320000"; celebrities! All right. Who the hell do they think they are? MR WORMWOOD 2. Write this down. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Go on, then! And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Stand out from the crowd! He surely can't! Or even two, Bruce, You are a crook. As long as you dont know it with the volume up. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. What am I thinking? Chew your food; you're an animal! What can I do? No! His do-dah. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. MISS HONEY The more you'll just look like a fool. I ate the lot! MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Good hair means a good brain. MISS TRUNCHBULL The apple never rots far from the tree! I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. In the cupboard. 2. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Six times two is twelve. As I was saying, Matilda. Shift you! . With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] DOCTOR MATILDA . google_ad_width=120; But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. [to Zinnia] Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . Look, am I fat? And the second part is Chokey! COUPLES . DOCTOR Don't be pathetic! I've got a whole house to look after! But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . Miss Honey: MR WORMWOOD You fool! 13. I'd love to meet her, actually . FBI Agent Bill: If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. I sold it for $999. Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] MISS HONEY No one's gonna care if you don't care, Matilda: MATILDA So, Matilda. You're heading for the chokey, young lady! MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN TOMMY 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] RUDOLPHO A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. . . Matilda: . There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. A weakling? Sued by who? And sailed high up, up above the stands I told you I was supposed to start school in September. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] Did you see all those packages outside? MRS WORMWOOD Oh, cook . You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. | Zinnia Wormwood: Is she here? . [He laughs then peters out.] MISS TRUNCHBULL Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. MATILDA collects the remains of her book. ? Matilda: COUPLE 4 Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. All right. It was the age of wisdom . MISS TRUNCHBULL Trunchbull: I'll come back later, then. How about this. LAVENDER She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. 6. MATILDA This still, unbroken skin, My school is a model of discipline! As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. "thinking". And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! I mean, take a look at you and me. The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. . . Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? BIG KIDS But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. Agatha Trunchbull: Loud, loud, loud, loud! 3. The boy's a looney. I'm sorry, doctor. When I grow up . Somewhere along the way, my dear, A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. . Harry Wormwood: But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! A party entertainer enters with balloons. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. Well, take another! Oh, my good Lord.