Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Withnail: Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. I'll show the lot of you! Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Don't get uptight with me, man. It'll pass. Withnail and I - Wikiquote Monty: [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] I might come and see you lads in the week. Have you been away? It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . You're not leaving me in here alone. [narrating over scene] We've gone on holiday by mistake. Tea Shop Proprietor: I've some extremely distressing news. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. You lose, you gain. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. How dare you! Withnail: Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Danny: Look at us! If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Find *anything*. Stop saying that, Withnail! Afrika Korps. What fucker said that? Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Withnail: Chin-chin. All right, get hold of it. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! I can never touch meat until it's cooked. A coward you are, Withnail! Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Danny: Cool your boots, man. Marwood: General: A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Haven't seen Gielgud down the labour exchange! Withnail And I Script - Dialogue Transcript - Script-O-Rama The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! Hare. Oh, of course you are. https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. Monty: Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Monty: Let him get his drugs out. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! What do you want? Monty: Here hare here! There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. "Withnail and I Quotes." I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Withnail: An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Have another look in that shed. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Withnail : Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! What's your name, MacFuck? Marwood: No we're not, we're here. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. [reading the note] [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Marwood: Soak up the booze. And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. There can be no true beauty without decay. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! Sherry? Politics, man. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. Withnail: Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. You're not in the same boat. What's it got to do with you? Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. That's what I want to know! Marwood: Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Tell him if you must, I no longer care. Change down, man, find your neutral space. Danny: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. [about Danny] Listen to me, listen to me! How can we make it die? Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Withnail: Scrubbers! Here, I dont want it. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I've only had a few ales. [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. Hurry up, Mabs. You need working on, boy! I was merely making an observation. That's worse than meths! Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. It takes away your appetite just looking at it. Keep your bag up. Withnail: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. You got a rush. We mean no harm! Where's the aspirins? If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. 100% Upvoted. Especially that little pimp! Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023 I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Let him get his drugs out. I've looked into it. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. And we want them here, and we want them now! Withnail: I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Withnail: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. It's trying to get itself in with you. Monty: Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! It's society's crime, not ours. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. We might wanna do a film in here. Get that damned little swine out of here! You got a rush. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. *Bastards*! Were incompatible. I say, you know what we should do? [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? An expert on bulls you are not! Marwood: Withnail: Will it? You want working on, boy. Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Here hare here? General: He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. I'm good-looking. Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Please, let's go. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. [smiling] Withnail and I Quotes Monty: Something's got to be done. C*nt give him two years. Matter. What had I done to offend him? Monty: Jake: This pill's valued at two quid. Marwood: You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. We're in this cottage here. Marwood: It's a bloody chicken! Jake: These are the best withnail and I quotes. Don't you agree? Withnail: Imagine the size of his balls. 2023. Marwood: [holding umbrella in rain] Marwood: I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! London is a country coming down from its trip. Cunt gave him two years. The bastard's about to run at me! You got to throttle him. You'll all suffer! What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Withnail: [pointing at a table] And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Withnail: Quotes and one-liners: . Honestly. Find your neutral space. Of course you are! All right, this is the plan. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. We worked out it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit. Marwood stands there, petrified]. Hello? Well neither have I. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. General: We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Ah! To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. The beauty of the world! [looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes] And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" Marwood: [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. [approaching the pub] I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Withnail: Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Change down, man. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" This thread is archived. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. Withnail: Withnail: Sulking up the hill. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! Prostitutes for the bees. Withnail: It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. It's society's crime, not ours. Sophocles. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. Monty: Here hare here!' We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Had a weight under his fez. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Them pheasants are for his pot. Danny: You been away? Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Marwood: Just you wait! How *dare* you! I think an evening at The Crow. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." Talk:Withnail and I - Wikiquote I've never met him. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. Will it? Withnail: All right, this is the plan. Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. Withnail: But old now, old. Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. Monty: We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. you little traitors. Headhunter to everybody. [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. I'll sleep here. Imagine the size of his balls. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Withnail: The thermostats! Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! . We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. I couldn't, I'm spaced. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Withnail: Danny: The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. What the fuck do you mean? Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. [after a phone call with his agent] For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. How you feel. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Right can anybody explain the here hare here joke from withnail and I? There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? That's what you say. [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Marwood: We're early. Do you like to experience all facets of life? It's like great yellow sock. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Marwood: I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. I've told you why. It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! Marwood: Aren't you getting absurdly high? [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Withnail: They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Oh, Oxford Marwood: [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] What a piece of work is a man. Withnail and I Quotes by Bruce Robinson - Goodreads 'He used to pick on me. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Scrubbers! Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Withnail: Monty: Monty: Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Hello? I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. The police, Miss Blennerhassett. One of us has got to stay on guard. Required fields are marked *. I was gonna cook onions. Withnail: All right here? The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Be seated. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Danny: The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. Marwood: I think you've been punished enough. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). You little thug! Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. We may as well sit round this cigarette. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . Thought I was going for a minute. Get into the countryside. It'll happen. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. share. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! It'll happen. Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. No, no, you can't. I mean, look at us! Peter Marwood ("I"): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Prostitutes for the bees. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. [calmly] St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Little tarts, they love it! Withnail: It's the only solution to this intense cold. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. "I'm gonna pull you head off." Monty: Withnail: 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. No need to get uptight, man. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Do you like vegetables? Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Well, I don't know. *Arrrgh*! Monty: Go with it. These eels are for my pot. Marwood: You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? [while high on drugs] Jesus Christ. I recommend you smoke some more grass. Flowers are essentially tarts. Withnail: let him get his drugs out! Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. What's in your hump? Jesus, look at that. We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Monty: My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . I would say. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Danny's here. Time change. "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. No it doesn't. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? [to Marwood] withnail and i 96119 GIFs. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! Why don't I get any soup? Dont be ridiculous. Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! And now I'm calling you one. Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain, they stop and look at each other. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Danny: I feel like a pig shat in my head! Gi' me one in t' knee. Marwood: My heart's beating like a fucked clock! Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" You can never, never disguise it. Marwood: Be seated. I've absolutely no interest in yours. "Here. Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Sulking up the hill. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. I hope you guys like our collection. How infinite in faculties! [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. Withnail & I - The Script - Tripod Marwood: Monty: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead. Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. Withnail: Raymond Duck. Marwood: Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? [voiceover] Give in to it, boy. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". Withnail: Marwood: God fulfils himself in many ways. Monty: Balls! Locations, see. Ah, he knows. I don't know what's in here. Marwood: "I f*** arses"? 4 Mar. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. . Withnail: Good old Jake. You want working on, boy! Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: Why can't I get on television? I often wonder where Norman is now. It's wearing a yellow sock. He doesn't have any friends. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. "I fuck arses." [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Listen, we're bona fide. Withnail: Please explain the joke from Withnail and I : ExplainTheJoke But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it? What a piece of work is a man! Withnail: Isaac Parkin: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! [casually lighting a cigarette] I must have some booze. Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. Old suit? Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Danny: I think we've been in here too long. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Flowers are essentially tarts. Withnail: Especially that. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. I really don't want you to. [as Marwood walks past him] These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Your desires. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights!